Sunday, January 24, 2010
Men and Housework
Why is that when men do something domestic they want to bring it up in every argument, keep a running tally and receive constant praise for helping out? Women, on the other hand, will wash the endless sinks filled with dishes, do pile after pile of laundry, cook meal after meal, change bum after bum and only want a quick hug and kiss or thank you. A man's philosophy is along these lines: I filled the dishwasher so you should empty it. Sounds fair...until you realize that you have washed the breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes in the sink every day for the last however long. My husband has accumulated more points in the last nine months than he had in the ten years I have known him although he still believes that housework is fifty-fifty. He take this in quite a literal sense! He will put his dish in the diswasher after dinner and may be one of the children's, leaving mine on the table and all of the pots and pans on the counter and stove. It's your mess he says. Ummm...nevermind the fact that I cooked the dinner! If it was truly half the work, he should clean up ALL the dinner dishes? If I wash and dry the laundry, he should fold and put it away? If I clean 1/2 the toilet, he should clean the other half! He has his own idea of fifty-fifty and it usually fits with his agenda. For the record, today I fed Evan at 2 am, got up for the day with Evan at 6 am after feeding and changing his bum and threw a load of laundry in. I came downstairs and piled the dishes from last nights dinner (that he didn't clean up after I did my half - the cooking) and cleared the counters. I made Evan's breakfast and played with him for a little. Matt got Connor up brought him downstairs and gave him some milk, toast and yogurt. I went back upstairs and threw another load of laundry in came down and grabbed Evan, fed him and took him up for his nap. Then I went to the basement with Connor and did a work out. He came down half way through, probably to mock me as I was sweating my buns off and then went upstairs again with Connor. When I finished, Evan had woken up, so I went upstairs to get him with Connor in tow. Matt was playing MarioKart. I grabbed the next load of laundry, folded and put it away all while entertaining a two year old and near nine month old. We changed the sheets on the bed and Connor pooped so we came downstairs and Matt changed his bum! He definitely gets points for that. I notice he has emptied the dishwasher and loaded some dirty dishes back into it. 3 Points for Matt? I go up and finish folding the mountains of laundry from last week and have a shower. When I come down Matt is feeding the kids. 4 points Matt. I make my lunch and fold the kids laundry that I brought down with me while Connor "helps" me and makes a bigger mess. I then start making some Steel Cut Oats for the week on the stove and while this is cooking I played with the boys and danced around the living room. Matt was on the computer apparently editing my blog post! So that brought us to lunch and Matt had 4 may be 6 points (giving him 2 points for changing a poopy bum) and I have, around 15 I think. So fifty-fifty eh! I would hate to see a sixty-forty split! I guess men just have a different set of mathmatical skills than women??
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Kel I am there with you. Back in October I had a conversation with my hubby about this exact topic except that I was expected to do everything around the house. That has changed a little in the last couple of months but there is still an overwhelming sense of the balance which I hate. Just remember the one thing I say everyday - men can't multitask, while women were made to pick up the slack!
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm one of the lucky ones! Don't get me wrong, Dan won't do ANY housework without being asked but I've figured out how to get him to help. I always ask him a couple days ahead of time if he would be able to help me for an hour or two cleaning on such and such a day. I think he agrees because he has no desire to do it when I ask so agreeing to do it later sounds good. Then when the day comes he doesn't want to but because he said he would, he helps with only a few moans and groans. I think it helps setting a time too (like an hour or two) because then the end is in sight! Then when the time comes we just agree on who is doing what and off we go!
ReplyDeleteIt must be their math skills. I consistently take both kids over to my parents house one day on the weekend. I will usually ask Steve to do something housework-ey (totally not a word, I know) while we're gone. Vaccuum the living room, clean up from breakfast ... nothing really hard.
ReplyDeleteHe ALWAYS brings it up later!! I ask him to get a kid after naptime ... "but I vacuumed while you were gone!" ... like I had a break taking 2 kids in the car, driving, spending 2 or 3 hours helping entertain them and driving home.
They just don't get it. I have given up!
"I unloaded the dishwasher-does that make you happy?" Or, "I just put a load in the machine because it looks like we need to catch up...." I did this, I did that. You know what I need-a white board. On it I will write everything I do in a day. On it will I not only write my domestic chores, but I will add every tantrum, meltdown, compromize, timeout, threat, bribe, spill, and concern I have dealt with in a day. I will add in appointments made, needing to be made, food prepared and food needed. Activities registered and days they fall on, as well as times. Family functions, friend gatherings and dates. At the end of the day my list will fill the page, and his will not.
ReplyDeleteBut at the end of the day--I'm the best mom these girls could have-and he could never have that :)
Well said Melissa!! Hilarious and it is so much more than housework!
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