Slummy Mummy cont'd

I found another (well, several actually) excerpt in the book that I want to share!

"When Sam was a baby, I remember lying beside him on the kitchen floor, before he was able to turn over on his own, trying to calculate the value of the tiny space that he occupied and realising that there was no price that could be put on it. When I was pregnant with Joe, it seemed impossible that I would love this new baby as much. I imagined I would have to halve my affections, because surely there was a finite level of love? But that was the wonder of motherhood, the discovery that there were always untapped reserves available. And every day, despite the upheavals and the chaos, there are brief moments when that is all I feel, the unadulterated pure pleasure of love."

This paragraph was like a de ja vu for me because like Lucy, the Slummy Mummy, I had this exact same wonderment before Evan was born. When I was pregnant, I was so in love with Connor. I had several conversations with Matt about how we could possibly love our new baby the same way we love Connor. In one of his wiser moments he said something that made more sense than anything I had ever heard him say in our ten years together. "You can't measure love. You can't run out of love, you just keep loving more and more." After the initial shock wore off that MY husband said something so profound, I realized that he was right. I would love the new baby just the same as I loved Connor and it is true. I do!

I am also slowing learning to recognize those brief moments amongst the chaos where I am feeling that unadulterated pure pleasure of love. I enjoy sitting back and watching the boys interact with each other more and more each day. They lock eyes and something passes between them silently, and then the giggles begin! I love watching Connor play and use his boundless imagination and wonder how he has grown into such a beautiful, smart and funny little boy! I marvel at how Evan is learning to use his body to get where he wants and how he loves his big brother and tries to grab his attention. Some days it is almost painful to love this much. So when I should be doing dishes or mopping the floor or doing the endless piles of laundry, I am enjoying those moments of infinite love. I think that is a pretty good excuse! Don't you?